Weekly Reflection | Let Them & Let Me Grow

This week, I was reminded of some hard truths. As much as I want to show up perfectly — for my kids, my husband, and my family  — I’m constantly reminded that I cannot control how others think or respond to me. I can’t control their emotions, assumptions, or even their energy. And that’s where “Let Them Theory “by Mel Robbins came into focus.

This book found its way into my hands as part of a beautiful “Book Train” started by my sister. She had the idea to pass around books that help us grow—as mothers, women, daughters, friends and good neighbors. It’s not just about reading—it’s about reflecting, letting wisdom settle into our hearts, and then passing it on. Each book becomes a seed planted in our lives and in each other’s.

In Let Them Theory, Robbins encourages us to stop trying to manage other people’s behaviors and focus instead on our own peace. It's about accepting that you can't change other people, and choosing to focus your energy on what you can control: your own behavior and choices.

If someone wants to stop talking to you—let them. If someone misunderstands you—let them. If someone wants to gossip, exclude you, ignore your growth, or take offense to your boundaries—let them. When you "Let Them" do what they want, you stop giving your power away. Simultaneously, you take back control by deciding how you will respond and what boundaries you will set.

This concept is so freeing, but also so challenging. Because as humans we often feel responsible for the emotional temperature of every room we walk into. We want to smooth things over. We try to make everyone comfortable, people please and try to sacrifice our own well being. One example is at work, we take on more than what our capacity allows because we fear that other's may think we are not working hard enough - when in reality, that is far from the truth.

This week, I faced a few different situations where I was misunderstood and felt like my heart was on trial. My instinct was to over-explain, to clarify, to fix. But then I paused and remembered: Let them. Let them think what they want. Let them walk their own journey. My peace does not depend on someone else’s approval.

It’s not about giving up on relationships or becoming cold. It’s about giving up the illusion of control. We are not responsible for everyone else’s healing—just our own. So here’s to letting them do what they think is best for them and letting us focus on:

• Our reactions

• Our intentions

• Our boundaries

• Our love

As Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Notice the part that says, “as far as it depends on you.” There is only so much we can do, and the rest? We place it in God’s hands.

Call to Action:

This week, let’s challenge ourselves to practice Let Them Theory in real life. The next time you feel the urge to over-explain, defend, or control someone’s response—pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Is this mine to carry?

Then journal about it, talk it out with a trusted friend, or pray over it. Growth happens in the pause.

To my sisters on the book train or who have already read the Let Them Theory —thank you for being part of this growth journey. Share what spoke to you from this chapter or how you’re learning to apply the theory with grace. Let’s grow together—not by fixing everyone, but by freeing ourselves.

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